I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
