Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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