i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize