Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
