I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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