so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
