Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
