Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
