So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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