If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
