He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
