i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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