i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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