WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
