U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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