I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
