GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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