the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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