I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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