it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
