Got a toothbrush?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
