You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
