Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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