and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
