That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
