So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
