guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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