Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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