either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
