GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
