is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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