I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We're too hungover to prance.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
