But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
