tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?