So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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