she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
