matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
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Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
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Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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