I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You took a bar mat shot.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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