Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
