i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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