We're facebook friends in real life
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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