You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize