youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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