I'm going to jail i love you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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