belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
