loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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