Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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