I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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