I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
