i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
