Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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