I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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