i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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