Do vagina's smell?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
