Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
