I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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