How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
